I just got back from an amazing trip to Africa. My wife and I spent 2-1/2 weeks touring around South Africa and Zambia spending time with her family, visiting wine country and going on safari and fishing.
Looking back on the trip, events, activities, there were two events that jump out at me as huge risks that I took. One was climbing a mountain and the other was watching an elephant.
The mountain we scaled, Lion’s head, is a huge tourist attraction in Cape Town, South Africa. There were a ton of folks going for the hike to take in the breathtaking, 360-degree view of Cape Town. Hikers were of all different shapes, sizes and ages, from young to quite old.
Technically, it is an easy hike, especially if you take the easier route. We took the harder route, which to be honest, I enjoyed. There were some spots where we needed to use our hands and there were some chains and ladders installed to help you. This was no problem as I have done my fair share of rock climbing and repelling.
This being said, I do have a crippling fear of heights. The parts that might seem the most intimidating to some was fun for me. Scrambling up the steeper parts using my hands and feet and the chains, rungs and ladders was acceptable to me because, to me, if I did fall, there was a flat area just below us and I would not fall too far. The part that crippled me was near the top. The final stretch seemed to be fully exposed and felt straight up, or to me, straight down! I get vertigo in situations like this. When there are no sides, or walls or anything to grab on to, you are either on the rock right in front of your face, or you are 2,000 feet down to the bottom. The top of Lions Head is about 2,195 feet above sea level. And since Cape Town is on the sea, well we were a full 2,000 feet up!
Did I mention the wind? Part of the reason we went on this excursion was because hanging out on the beach would not be enjoyable with the wind blowing at 30-45 MPH, we would be blown away and pelted with the blowing sand. Turns out the wind was blowing just as hard up on the mountain.
I got near the top and the final push is fully exposed and feels vertical. This is where the fear became crippling. Truly crippling. I found myself sitting down, knees pulled into my chest and backed against a small rock. All I could do was look back down at the relatively flat 5 feet or so I had just crawled over. The next section was only about 10-15 feet of very flat ground but the entire area was about 15 feet around and seemed to be a sheer cliff in all directions except for where I was and where I was going. My wife is familiar with my fear of heights. When we went to Ireland years ago, it took me about an hour to kiss the Blarney Stone. For comparison sake, most folks come and go in 2 minutes or less. So when I said I would stay where I was, she understood and continued on with our other travel companion, Casey.
I sat there for 5-10 minutes, completely overcome with fear. Too scared to take that next step. All I could do was look backwards at where I had been and literally could not turn around to face the next steps. I had no idea what lay ahead and was too paralyzed to look. In that 5-10 minutes, probably 20-30 people walked by, right up the mountain. Probably the same amount came down, having already reached the top.
I found myself going through all of the fears I had, what was really holding me back, how could all of these other people be passing me? Where were they not as scared as I was, were my fears real or unfounded? How could people be coming back down? They clearly survived. There were children coming down, they all seemed happy, why was I not doing this? I was trying to get myself motivated and ready to conquer the mountain. I thought I had, I got up, turned around and then I saw it, the massive mountain that lay ahead! I quickly sat down and went back to my sitting fetal position. How could I possible do this? My heart was beating through my chest and I was sweating like crazy.
As I watched all the other people come and go, I realized that I was not the first to have climbed this mountain. I could follow the other people, I could watch and learn from them, I could literally follow in their footsteps. I realized that the best way to achieve a big goal was to break it down into smaller, more manageable goals and tasks. I could manage the risks and my fear if I just broke things down. For this mountain, for the place I was stuck, if I could just make it across the flat part without being blown off the mountain, like the hundreds of others that had done it that day, that would be my first next step. Once there, I could then look ahead and calculate my next small goal. I would worry about that when I got there. Several deep breaths and calming techniques later. I turned around, focused on that one small next goal, and made my way across the flat 15 foot section. I survived! I hadn’t been blown off the 2,000 foot mountain! If I made it past that one crippling part, I was sure, well a tiny part of me was sure, that I could make it through the next one. I took a second, collected myself, tried to slow my heart rate and then took a look at the next section. I continued, section by section until my wife came back down and saw me slowly advancing. She had made it, survived, and was willing to stick with me as I slowly made my way up. At the top, there was no wind, comfortable places to sit and take in the scenery, enough room to relax and of course, to enjoy the moment. My adrenaline was still racing and I fought the thoughts of getting back down the mountain, and soaked in the achievement. I had made it to the top!
The other major event occurred at the fishing camp when we were on a game drive. A small group of us were in an open topped Land Rover driving though Zambia looking for game of all sizes. We came upon a large elephant that seemed to want to pose for pictures. He would turn his head towards us, kick one leg up or hang his trunk over his tusks. In-between poses, he was walking along and feeding. We decided to take a break for morning coffee and tea nearby so we could continue to watch him as we drank. Now, elephants might be my absolute favorite animal. Most folks don’t know, this but I had wanted to be a veterinarian growing up and to specifically work with large animals like elephants. As we were wrapping out our break, the elephant wandered around a corner and found himself about 20 feet away from our vehicle and us. This was a bit too close for his comfort. It was also a bit too close for Casey’s comfort. When an elephant gets surprised, the will do a mock charge, flaring their ears, and trumpeting. When Casey gets surprised, he jumps over rows of seats to get away! He was actually filming the elephant when this happened and you can see him scrambling around the vehicle. It was hilarious...to the rest of us...after we deemed it safe. You can actually see me in his video, in the back row of the truck, closest to the elephant calmly drinking my gin and tonic.
After things calmed down, the elephant wandered away and we all realized we were safe and Casey was a scaredy-cat, we were retelling the story to each other and then the others in camp. As I was telling the story and watching the video several times, I found myself and Casey in very opposite roles. I was the scaredy-cat on the mountain where he was the calm one. With the elephant, I was the calm one and Casey was scared. We both faced the same obstacles but approached them very differently. Casey lives in Steamboat, Colorado and spends the better part of his free time with his family in the mountains. I have spent hours watching learning and walking right next to elephants in the wild. Our comfort zones were different in each of these circumstances and thus our perceived risks were different. We knew there were risks involved in both scenarios and we were open to the challenges but how we perceived and reacted to them was very different.
Every day we put ourselves in situations that might be outside of our comfort zones. This situations come with different perceived risks for each of us and how we react to them will be different. I see this everyday with my coaching clients and hard money clients. Everyone has different backgrounds, skills and life experiences that shape and craft how we approach new challenges. The best we can do, especially when the fear is crippling, is to break things down in to smaller more manageable pieces and start tackling them one at a time. As the old saying goes, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Don’t allow yourself to be overcome by the overwhelming obstacle of eating the elephant, break it down into the smaller pieces, use the skills you have and don’t be afraid to lean on the experiences of others as well. I hope that you could lean on me to help when you need.